Hidden Memories
by LachesisBenton
Summary: 5 years after the fall of the Empire ... Leia pays a visit at Naboo ... and gets a window to the past... mostly focused on AnakinPadmé, please R
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer : none of these characters are mine, they belong to George Lucas. I don't want to gain any profit from this story, it's just written for pure entertainment …

Author's Note: this story takes place 5 years after the events in "The Return of the Jedi". 

My native language is Dutch, so I'm sorry if you find some mistakes… 

I thank my friends Cho_chang and Sofie for their help with the translation !

Please R&R  ;)

**HIDDEN MEMORIES**********

Chapter One 

Princess Leia Organa Solo had much difficulty concealing her amazement when she saw the girl before her. She couldn't be much older then fourteen. Was the Queen of the Naboo really so young?  Quickly, she regained her composure and bowed respectfully. The young Queen nodded as an answer and asked the senator to sit. After she ordered one of the present servant girls to bring something to drink, she fixed all her attention to the senator.

"Senator, your visit isn't totally unexpected."

Leia smiled.

"Then you know why I'm here, Your Highness?"

Queen Salina nodded. She rose on her feet and walked to one of the many windows that the throne room possessed. With every step, her red, rich garment rustled over the marble floor. Ever so slowly, she let her eyes wander over the landscape that stretched out before her. The golden ribbons, which adorned her dark hair, reflected the sunlight. Silence fell, and Leia waited patiently. She knew that the Queen needed to sort some things out. Finally the Queen turned to face the princess. Her dark - almost black - eyes, now more accentuated due her white painted face, looked at her mournfully.

"Have you noticed the state my planet is in, senator?"

And she beckoned the princess closer.

Silently, Leia went to the window. She knew from ancient archives that Theed, the capital of Naboo, once had been a magnificent city, with grand and elegant buildings and much green – a perfect harmony between culture and nature. But now, many were in ruins and those who still stood upright were heavily damaged. Even the royal palace, Leia noticed when she had walked through it, showed some severe scars after twenty five years of imperial regime.

"The stormtroopers brought great devastation," said Queen Salina softly. "Perhaps Emperor Palpatine wanted to finish once and for all with his past and everything that reminded him of his mortality. He originated from here, as you might know … But others claim that it was particularly his right hand that ordered the destruction …"

"Darth Vader …" Leia whispered softly.

The dreaded name lingered between the two young women. Even five years after the Empire's fall and the death of the infamous Sith Lord, his shadow remained intensely present. Leia swallowed. She still had difficulties believing that the monster, before he became Darth Vader, also had been a man.  Anakin Skywalker. Her father …

While repressing the sudden feelings of fear, sorrow and doubt, she said with a steady voice:

"If you join the New Galactic Republic we will find a way to collect enough resources to help you and your people with the reconstruction …"

"Can you assure me that eventually this Republic won't turn against us," the young Queen interrupted. Vigorously, she continued: "Oh,  Palpatine had worked it out so nicely! He wouldn't stop at anything. He didn't have any difficulties of using us – his own people – to complete his perverted plan. And to think what Queen Amidala …"

The young woman stopped abruptly, as if she thought she had said to much. Leia didn't notice, and spoke quietly:

"There will be new laws to avoid something like that ever happening again. We have learned from the past …"

"Let us hope."

Leia felt a deep sympathy towards the young Queen. She knew all to well how it felt to shoulder great responsibility at such a young age. She saw her own youth before her. How her father – no, foster father - instructed her in politics and how she, barely twenty years old, carried one of the primary functions in the Rebel Alliance against the Empire. She had known many difficult moments, but she didn't regret any of them. There was always something that made it worth while. She remembered vividly her "rescue" from the Death Star by the eager Luke Skywalker and the arrogant but irresistible Han Solo. From that moment on, everything accelerated. Luke was trained by Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and Master Yoda to become a Jedi Knight, an order that became close to extinction during the Emperor's reign. At the same time, she sought a way to destroy the Empire for good, with the help of Han, the Rebels and Lando Calrissian – an old friend of Han's. And finally, after twenty five years of tyranny, they succeeded with the aid of the person they least expected – Darth Vader. Despite all the anger and hatred, imbedded in his being for so long, he had never renounced the man he once was. When he saw how Luke, his son, was being severely tortured by the Emperor, he killed his Master, hereby loosing his life. However, he didn't die as Darth Vader but as Anakin Skywalker, in the Light of the Force. He had only discovered some time before his death that Luke was his son. Around the same time, Leia found out that Luke was her twin brother. She had always known that she was an adopted child of the Viceroy of Alderaan, senator Bail Organa, but she never expected, not even remotely, that her real father was her sworn enemy. And her mother ? She only had some vague memories and impressions of her. She knew that she had been a beautiful and gentle woman, but also very sad … and that she had passed away too young. She didn't know her name, where she came from, who she had been … so many questions that would probably stay unanswered forever. Sometimes she had the urge to ask Master Obi-Wan about her mother, when he appeared through the force. But the courage failed her each time, partly because she knew that he didn't like to talk about the past -  in which he had to face his own failures – and partly because she wasn't sure she was ready for the truth… .

During these reflections, silence had fallen. Both women were deep in thought. Eventually Queen Salina returned to her worktable, where now stood a decanter and two glasses.   

"May I offer you a refreshment, Senator?"

"Please."

A young girl stepped forward and served the drinks. 

After a while, the Queen spoke sincerely:

"We will accede to the Republic. We, the Naboo, care too much for democracy to stand aloof. But I wish to be informed about those new laws."

"Of course, Your Highness." Leia paused a moment.  "You do have to assign a new senator …"

"We will have to deliberate this carefully. You must understand that this is a sensitive matter; Palpatine was our representative in the senate before he became chancellor… As soon as we've reached a decision, I will notify you."

"Thank you."

Queen Salina rose on her feet – a sign the conversation was over. She escorted Leia to the doors of the chamber. The senator bowed her head and said:

"The New Republic will do everything in its power to support you and your people with the reconstruction of this planet."

"I thank you. I sincerely hope you can restore our faith in the Republic."

"I shall do my best, I promise."

The Queen's dark eyes observed Leia intensely.

"I believe you," she said and she nodded goodbye. She turned and walked back to her worktable. Leia left the throne hall.

There was hardly any sound in the royal palace of Theed. Again, Leia noticed the many wounds, inflicted by the Imperial Stormtroopers. On some places, the marble was completely destroyed and the concrete construction was clearly visible underneath. Naboo, once one of the most flourishing planets in the whole galaxy, had been living on its reserves for years, which was now taking its toll. 

Suddenly, Leia heard rapid footsteps behind her and she turned around. 

She saw a middle-aged woman coming towards her.

"Princess Leia Organa?" Her voice  sounded soft and melodious. 

The senator nodded. She had the strange feeling she'd seen the woman somewhere before. In any case, she did remind her of someone she had known. 

"I come to give you something," the woman continued. "Something that was entrusted to me years ago and that now belongs to you."

She gave the princess a little brown paper package tied up in string. Amazed Leia accepted it.

"But …"

"You will understand."

Surprised, Leia put the package in her bag.

"Who …," she began, but when she looked up, the mysterious woman had disappeared.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer : see chapter 1

Once again, I'd like to thank my friends – cho_chang and Gestalte achter de muur…

Thanks to Hermoine Granger, Buffy, Lady Vader, Heather Wan, Kazzy, Lady Bug, Amidala, YouAndMeAlwaysAnd4Ever, Rachel, Jar Jar, Harlequin, Spike_s Gal,  Disney Freak (dat ben ik ook, NB), Joey, Liesje, Cinnamon,    someoneusedmynickalready , BaseJumper, DownDownDown, Ami, Ann and Tafkay for your kind words or: voor jullie aandacht en steun !

Chapter 2 

Leia stared out of the window of the elegant spaceship to the planet stretched out before her. The warm midday sun shone without mercy on the sky-high buildings of Coruscant.

Leia settled herself more comfortably in her seat. She didn't like this place, with al its impersonal, concrete architecture. There was no room for nature - the complete opposite of Naboo.

Yet it was here that the headquarters of the New Galactic Republic were founded, following the example of the old Senate, which had been completely destroyed during the dictatorship of Palpatine. 

Now it was gradually being rebuild and more and more planets sent representatives to the impressive building once again. Slowly Coruscant returned being the busy planet it once had been, before the terror of the Imperial Regime. 

Leia sighed. She was almost home. Not that she regarded this place as home – Han and she had already decided to move later on, and Naboo seemed a welcome alternative – but now she had to stay at Coruscant. Her function in the New Galactic Republic could not be underestimated. Most of the planets knew about her contribution in the fall of the Empire and as such, they had much confidence in her capabilities. Therefore, she tried to perform her task as a diplomat the best way she could, if only to redeem the mistakes her father once made ….

As the spaceship approached the landing site, that lay just past the restored Senate, Leia saw a glimpse of the new Jedi Temple, build under the direction of her brother Luke. His attempts to bring the Order back to life were successful. Once more several children and even a few adults with whom the Force was strongly present  wished to learn the Jedi teachings. 

The Force was also strong in Leia, but she was never taught to rely on It. It wasn't her intention at all to become a Jedi Knight; that was rather something for Luke.  Nevertheless she had a profound connection with her brother, one that was even deeper and stronger than the one she shared with Han, her husband. She couldn't explain it, but as Luke had once said: "The Force is strong in my family; I have It, my Father has it, as does my sister …"

And their mother? Had the Force been with her?

These questions brought Leia back to all the other ones concerning her mother. Should she talk to Luke about it? Maybe he knew more …

****

The moment senator Organa Skywalker Solo set foot on solid ground, she felt how two strong arms held her tightly.

"I've missed you," Han Solo whispered in his wife's ear. Leia gave him a tender kiss and for a moment leaned against him. While she broke away from his embrace, she let her eyes wander over the small group of people who had been waiting her arrival on the landing site. 

Chewbacca, the tall Wookie and loyal companion to Han, stood there somewhat uncomfortably. But when Leia approached him, he took her in his strong arms, and from his enthusiastic growls she knew he was happy to see her. 

A little further, she noticed the inseparable duo C-3PO and R2-D2. The golden C-3PO started rambling immediately how happy he was to see her unharmed and in one piece, especially because the odds to return uninjured from a weeklong journey were only one in three hundred seventeen. 

R2-D2 expressed as usual his happiness with a high squeaking. 

Then her eyes fell on Luke. Her brother stood bolt upright, hands behind his back. His whole appearance showed peace and self-confidence. He was a Jedi Knight and had learned to trust the Force within him. A smile lingered on his lips and in his bright blue eyes. He took her hands in his.

"I'm very glad to see you again, Leia."

The princess laughed.

"What a welcome! You act as if you haven't seen me for years. And I wasn't even gone for a month!"

"We had no one to tease," Han said playfully, "you can't imagine how boring it has been!" He put an arm over her shoulder. "Come on, dinner is getting cold and that would be a waste! We moved heaven and earth getting the cook to change his weekly routine and make something special."

****

"And that's about it. All in all I can say that my journey has been successful. Most planets were willing to join the Republic again. Even Naboo, against all my expectations…"

"Wasn't Palpatine from there?" Luke asked interested.

Leia nodded.

"And they are far from proud of it. You should have seen the capital, Theed. Once, it must have been breathtaking, and now … I promised the Queen of the Naboo that the New Republic will obviously help with the restorations. Anyway, I can not understand what possessed Palpatine to do such a thing…"

"It can't be understood," Luke said gravely. "A normal person would never be able to what he did, but Palpatine wasn't a normal person anymore. The Dark Side of the Force had consumed him completely. The only thing he still knew was hatred and most of all power. And everything and everyone had to yield for it. Eventually …" Luke paused a moment and continued hesitantly, "he also used Vader to gain that power …"

Silence fell. Leia looked at her brother. Luke had always believed that there was still something of Anakin Skywalker hidden deep under the armour of the dreadful Dart Vader. Ultimately, this belief had lead to the salvation, not only of Luke and Vader but of the entire Galaxy.

Leia however has still a hard time with it. She wished she could share Lukes faith and thrust in their father, but it wasn't that simple. So much had happened. She would never forget the moment Vader gave the order to destroy Alderaan, her home planet, completely. In one stroke, barely a fraction of a second, she had lost everyone who meant so much to her – her foster parents, her friends, her home. She hated the person who had done this; she hated him with all her heart. And that person was her father …

That was why she didn't want to become a Jedi Knight. She hadn't yet dealt with that part of her past. Contrary to Luke, she still felt deep conflicting emotions – love, anger, hate – and she knew all to well to what this could lead …

Han cleared his throat.

"Chewie and I have to check something on the Falcon. We'll catch you later…"

The two friends rose on their foot and left the room. Han gave his wife a concerned look but Leia gave a sign that everything was alright.

"I'm sorry," Luke started as soon as they were alone, "I shouldn't have … I know it's different for you then that it is for me."

"No, … I was just a bit startled. I … The journey was quite wearying. I think I will retire for a bit…"

Luke nodded and watched his sister leave. He was concerned. He sensed something was bothering her. He sighed, stood up and left the dining room.

****

Leia sat on her bed and stared outside. The rays of the setting sun were reflected in about a thousand windows, the only spectacle she really enjoyed here on Coruscant. 

The princess stretched one last time and stood up. Those couple of hours of sleep had done her remarkably well. It was nearly time for supper, and although she wasn't really hungry, she did want to keep her family company. 

She walked to the door and noticed her travelling bag. One of the servants must have brought it to her room. She picked it up and was surprised by its weight.  Suddenly she remembered the mysterious woman in Theed. Quickly she opened her bag and took the package out. Indecisively she held it in her hands.  After a brief moment, she finally decided to open it. Rapidly, she tore the brown paper of. To her amazement,  she discovered five notebooks. Stunned she opened the first one, and saw, written on the front page in elegant handwriting :

Diary of Padmé Naberrie 

_Queen Amidala of the Naboo_

A diary of one of the predecessors of Queen Salina? Why was it given to her? 

When she looked in the second book, the same thing was written. In the third one, nevertheless, "Queen" was replaced by "Senator". But when she examined the fourth notebook, her heart skipped a beat. Totally bewildered, she lowered herself onto her bed, and for al long time she could only stare at these two simple phrases :

Diary of Padmé Naberrie 

_Senator Amidala of the Naboo and wife of Anakin Skywalker_


	3. chapter 3

Disclaimer :  see chapter one

Author's Note : from now on the storyline will be a bit more complicated. I used the time code of the Star Wars fact files (year 0=  the Battle of Yavin). I hope this will make things a bit clearer.

So, for example, things that happen in Episode I :TPM, take place in 32 BBY (32 years before the Battle of Yavin).

And things that happen in Episodes IV, VI and after the fall of the Empire take place ABY (after the Battle of Yavin) (quite logically J )

Okay, and now, let's go on with the story …………

Chapter 3 

Theed, 32 BBY 

Today they elected me, Padmé Naberrie, Queen of the Naboo. I won't betray the confidence my people trusted to me. I will not fail them. Their well-fare and prosperity will always be my greatest priority.

_In this diary, I will try to give a faithful description of events during my period of government…_

*

Padmé Naberrie, Queen Amidala of the Naboo, looked upon the great mass of people who were gathered on the central square of Theed in honour of her coronation. 

On the first row, she saw the faces of her beloved family. As her parents looked at her full of pride, she noticed how her mother secretly brushed away a tear. Even her elder sister, Sola, cheered enthusiastically with the crowd.

Padmé knew that this moment wasn't just important for her, but also for her family who have been looking forward to it for a long time - ever since her talents in politics had been discovered. 

And it hadn't been always that simple, especially for her parents. In order to provide a proper education for their daughter, they had to deny themselves many things, both financially and emotionally – it was anything but easy to give up your eight year old little girl to something as harsh and ruthless as politics. 

Still, they had given her the opportunity and she was eternally grateful…__

It became suddenly very quite when the newly crowned Queen rose and strode to the stand to address the crowd. The summer sun shone blindingly on her radiant garment and the wind played merrily with the many pieces of cloth that decorated her white cloak. The symbolic crown that her predecessor had placed on Padmé's head, sparkled brightly. For a second, she had to become used to its weight and out of fear it would tumble of her head, she stood bolt upright in front of the large amount of people.

She opened her mouth and suddenly felt how deep her voice was stuck in her throat, as if repressed by the fear that raged furiously inside of her. 

This was it, her moment of truth. For a brief moment, she looked at Senator Palpatine, who gave her an encouraging smile. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and tried to settle down the chaos within her. 

Surprisingly, se felt a strength rising – she didn't know from where – and it comforted her. She could do this. She had to do this. This was her destiny.

With a newfound confidence, she opened her eyes and spoke calmly:

"My fellow countrymen. I gratefully thank you for the faith you have placed in me. I'm very aware that it is not that obvious to appoint such a high and important position to a fourteen year old. I pledge to you now that I will not betray your trust. In the next four years I will do whatever I can to serve the people of the Naboo and to bring our planet more prosperity without diminishing it's breathtaking beauty."

A loud cheer erupted and Padmé beamed. This is were she belonged.

**

9 ABY

Leia startled when she heard a soft knock on the door. Quickly she shoved the diary under a stack of papers on her desk. Then she blushed – she acted like a teenager who had done something that mustn't be known.  

Swiftly, she said:

"Yes ?"

Carefully, the door opened and the fragile silhouette of her handmaiden appeared.

"Yes, Keira?"

"Senator, Chancellor Mon Mothma requests a moment of your time."

Leia frowned. Mon Mothma? Why did the former leader of the Alliance pay her a visit at this unearthly hour?

Leia nodded and the young girl disappeared to make room for a middle-aged, stern looking woman.  Full of confidence, Mon Mothma, the temporary Head Chancellor of the New Republic, entered the room. 

"Good evening, Senator. I'm pleased you could see me at this time of night."

Confused but curious, Leia offered the Chancellor a seat.

"I assume your journeys went well?" the older woman began without hesitation.

Leia nodded.

"Indeed. Most planets wish to join the Republic once more. It feels good to see they haven't lost their confidence in democracy."

"And Naboo?" Mon Mothma asked.

Leia paused for a moment  and then said:

"Even Naboo is willing to, with some conditions …"

"I suspected as much," the older woman sighed , "and that's the reason I wanted to talk  to you. I'm considering to …"

She stopped and then said suddenly:

"How would you feel to become Head Chancellor of the New Republic?"

Stunned, Leia stared at Mon Mothma, while the words sank in. She? Head Chancellor of the New Republic? She couldn't, could she? Well, maybe she could, but was she willing to ? Would she sacrifice her life as she had done for the Alliance? Was it still worth it?

"But I …" she stammered.

"I didn't express myself accurately. You will not be THE Head Chancellor, but one of two."

"Two ?"

Mon Mothma nodded. 

"That way, the power will be shared. Each resolution will need to be approved by both chancellors. This way, we can avoid a new dictatorship more effectively."

"It seems a good solution," Leia contemplated. "Nevertheless, there is a possibility that the Republic can become divided when the two chancellors disagree about a resolution …"

"There are going to be clear guidelines from the start.  A new amendment will only be accepted when BOTH chancellors agree…"

"This of course can  lead to bribery…"

Sighing Mon Mothma stood up and slowly paced the room with her hands folded on her back.

"That's why I propose that one of the chancellors shall not be appointed trough election. It must be an impartial person who can judge objectively beyond the sphere of influence. And that brought me to you …"

"I don't know if I …" Leia began softly.

The older woman looked at her seriously.

"Princess, I've known you for many years. I've seen what you're capable of. You have the leadership qualities, and people trust you…"

Leia was lost in thoughts. She didn't know what to think about all this. Oh, a part of her really wanted to seize this opportunity and proof that she could do it. But an other part just wanted to say goodbye to the political arena so she could finally build a life with Han…

"May I consider it?" she asked.

"Of course. Just let me know when you've reached your decision."

When Mon Mothma made ready to leave, Leia suddenly said:

"I still have one question. Who would be the other Chancellor?"

Mon Mothma smiled.

"Like I said, one chancellor will be elected by the Senators, according to the old system."

"It is very likely that you will be chosen."

For a moment, the older woman seemed to hesitate, but admitted:

"Yes, it is possible, IF I would run for chancellor…"

"Aren't you?"

"We'll see what the future brings. Senator, I bid you a good night. Please fill me in as soon as you've considered my proposition thoroughly."

With this, she left. For a while, Leia stood bewildered.  

--

That night Leia had difficulties falling asleep. Maybe because she had to take such a severe decision that could change her and Han's future completely, or maybe because she wished she'd had the chance to read more in her mothers diary.  Her mothers diary. Those words sounded beautiful. A diary which may contain all the answers to the questions that tormented her for so long.  Maybe Mon Mothma was right, maybe she did have the qualities to be a great leader. Apparently, her mother too had had great talents in politics and even her father – Leia shuddered – had shown this ability, that couldn't be denied; he had perfect control over his Stormtroopers …

Leia turned over and nestled in her husbands arms. She realised she had to talk to Han about Mon Mothma's proposition; she couldn't possibly take this decision alone, because it affected them both. And she also knew she had to tell Luke about those diaries – after all, it was his mother too – but still, she wanted to keep them secret a little while longer. It just felt better that way. She needed to know how her mother could have fallen in love with Anakin Skywalker, the man who would have the whole galaxy in his grasp…

With this last thought, she finally fell in a restless sleep.

**Poohke : **en nu nog het tweede en derde hoofdstuk lezen hé J, merci voor uw tijd in ieder geval !!

**Renee: **mmmm as you may have read, Leia isn't gonna tell yet .. sorry …

**jmsoftball9 : **Thank you for your kind review, I hope you enjoyed this one too J

**Cindy : **Thanks ! I'm glad you liked it, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

**Jennifer : **Thanks for the link, but I have to admit I kind of enjoy the translation ;), and I have great friends to support me !! Nevertheless, I can always use a beta-reader, so if you're interested …

**Starwarsfan68: **I'm happy you are !! J

**Jade:** I'm sorry it takes so much time to update, and now with the exams … But I will do my best J

**MaraJade: **Thank you so much !! You make me blush !!! But just for the record, I'm very certain that you speak English better than me ;-)

**Kazzy: **oooh, you'll see … I'm just gonna keep you waiting a little more …. ;-) (I'm evil, I know)

**Li-Chan: **Thanks ! Hope you enjoyed this chapter !!

**Amidala: **Thank you for your wonderful and totally unexpected (;-)) review ! And you know I will keep on writing … as long as Across the Stars can touch my soul …

**Ann: **merci ! uw review betekent echt veel voor me. Hopelijk vond je dit hoofdstuk nog altijd goed ….

**Lady Bug: **Be carefull your skin doesn't begin itching (;-) ) because during the exams in june, it will take longer to post … Thanks for your very sweet review !!

**Altijd kritsich: **tiens, gestalte achter de muur is van naam en identiteit veranderd. Merci voor uw review en al uw tijd om het na te lezen. Uw review komt me trouwens echt heel bekend voor …. Toedeloe !!!

**Jaina Kenobi: **I hope you liked this chapter. I'm sorry I couldn't update sooner … Thanks for your review !

**HermOIne Granger : **(just a question, is it really HermOIne ???) Oh but it will be a long and thrilling story with lots of plot twists J, I can promise you that !! 

**Jakia : **There will be more, I promise. It will just take a little time … J

**buffy: **(How's Angel (or Spike ??) by the way – I'm sorry, I couldn't resist ;-) ) Thanks for your kind review. And as you may have read, Leia isn't going to tell just yet … sorry …

**Jar Jar** : I'm glad you share the same opinion … hope you liked this chapter !

**Disney Freak**: ohja, ik ben een enorme Disney-fan, al vind ik Atlantis en Treasure Planet jammer genoeg al veel minder goed … hopelijk herpakken ze zich snel ! Leuk dat je het tweede hoofdstuk "nog beter" vond dan het eerste, en hopelijk valt het derde niet te veel uit het rijtje … Nogmaals dank u wel !

**Rachel: **Okay, now I'm really blushing! Thank you so much for your very kind review !!

**YouAndMeAlwaysAnd4Ever : **I hope you liked chapter 3. Now you know already a iny, little, tiny bit of what is written in the diary J …

**Cinnamon: **I really don't forget you. It's just that writing and then translating can take long, especially now with the exams … Thanks you for waiting and for your kind review !

**Liesje: **dank je wel ! Ik doe mijn best, maar nu met de examens voor de deur … het wordt druk … In ieder geval hoop ik dat je van dit hoofdstuk hebt genoten ! 

**Joey: **Thanks ! I hope you enjoyed this chapter also J

**BaseJumper: **I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that there weren't to many mistakes J. I could always use a beta-reader so if you're interested, just let me know !

**DownDownDown: **yeah .. the package … I just wanted to create some tension … I hope it worked J Thanks for your review !

**Harlequin**: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm sorry posting keeps so long, but now is a very busy time, with all the exams and stuff. Thanks for your patience and for your kind review J

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**Spike_Sgal**:  I won't forget you !! I will keep posting, it just takes a long time for the translation … Thanks for your kind review and I hoped you liked this chapter J

**CocaCola**: Thanks for your review. I didn't know there was a hype, but it's always nice hearing that ;-) !


	4. chapter 4

**Disclaimer** : see chapter 1

**Author's Note**: Finally, I'm back !!! These passed months have been really hectic (exams – I passed, by the way -, internship in France – with some really nice weather-, and then parents who expect that now you are on holiday, you can do a lot of little, boring jobs – a situation you may recognize ) 

But here I am! 

This chapter has been a real pain in the ass, and I must confess I'm still not totally convinced it works … So let me know what you think, you have no idea how much your reviews mean to me !

Chapter 4 

9 ABY

Without the slightest movement, hidden in the shadow, Han Solo calmly observed the scene before him. A dozen, blindfolded, future Jedi Knights were trying to avoid the electric charges, fired by several training remotes, with their lightsabers. Some of them succeeded well, en Han had to admit that it all looked pretty impressive. 

Once, a long time ago, he had witnessed this practice before: the late Obi-Wan Kenobi  had given a young Luke his first experience with the Force. At that time, Han hadn't given much credit to all this mambo jambo about this so-called Force who would reside in all living things. 

But now, so many years later and after all he had been through with Luke and Leia, even he, the most cynical and sceptical person in the whole Galaxy, had to admit that there was 'something'. Maybe this old-fashioned belief of ancient times might not be all quackery. 

He regarded deeply all those who came to study Her ways in this newly-build Jedi Temple. Sometimes, he caught himself wishing he could receive a similar training. Live for a Jedi looked so much easier – they could always rely on the Force if things got a little tough. But immediately, he realised that this was a wrong attitude to begin with. And he didn't have the slightest talent for it anyway …

After all, he was quite happy the way he lived his life. He had close friends, a great position in the New Republic which allowed him to roam the Galaxy every now and again with Chewbacca and most importantly, he had a wonderful wife. From the moment he set eyes on her, almost ten years ago, he was mesmerized. She wasn't just an astounding beauty, but on top of that she was one of the must courageous and strongest personalities he ever met. Han was absolutely convinced that without her intervention, the Emperor would still hold sway. She was everything he could dream of.

And still … it was because of her that Han had come to the Jedi Temple. They've been together for many happy years, but he felt something was wrong. She was hiding something from him, and he didn't know what worried him more: that she kept something secret for him or the fact that she kept **a** secret for him. Didn't she trust him anymore ? Perhaps Luke knew more about it, through their connection with the Force …

Despite everything, Han had to smile when he thought back to the their silly rivalry. Luke too was smitten by the beautiful princess (of course before he knew she was his sister) and Han still couldn't believe his luck – his biggest competitor was her brother!! But of course he always knew that from Leia's part it never was a difficult choice. Even if Luke wasn't her brother, she would have chosen Han anyway. 

"Han?"

Startled, he looked up. Luke watched him with a worried expression on his face. Han noticed they were the only two left. In all his reflections, he hadn't realised that all the Padawans had gone. 

"To what do I owe your visit?" asked Luke when Han kept silent. " You don't come here very often." And then he continued more lightly, "And I've rarely seen you this deep in thought."

"That's true," said Han laughing," it must be this place, all the wisdom surrounding it. It provokes reflection, even for someone like me!"

Luke laughed, relieved that despite whatever was haunting Han, his friend hadn't lost his sense of humour. Nevertheless, he became serious again, sensing that the once so carefree and superficial smuggler clearly had something on his mind.

"Can I help ? I doubt you just passed by…"

Han nodded and only after some time, he said: "There's something I'd like to discuss with you. It feels strange to ask help like I'm some little kid. You know how I like to solve everything myself but I think I could use your advise on this, because it has to do with …"

"Leia," Luke filled in softly.

Han looked at him surprised.

"How … ? Did she tell you …"? He felt a stab of jealousy

"No no," Luke assured him, "she didn't tell me anything. I felt it."

Han smiled weakly. "She will be so disappointed. You know her. She's really doing everything to hide it and still we both saw through it. Now you, I can understand, with the Force and everything," Luke grinned, noticing the irony in his friends words," but that even me, the most blindfolded man alive, at least where emotions are concerned, picked up on it, that must be quite a shocker."

He fell silent for a while and then proceeded. All traces of irony had left his tone. "I see it in small things. When I tell her something, her mind is clearly elsewhere. Or when I ask her something, I have to repeat the question several times before she answers. And then at night, she tosses and turns in her sleep, if she sleeps at all. Lately she just lies wide awake. Something is bothering her and I haven't the slightest idea what it could be."

Suddenly he looked at Luke with mistrust. "But you do …"

It was a conclusion, but Luke heard an undertone of frustration.

"I have a suspicion," he said calmly. "Nothing more."

"Well, what ?" Han asked impatiently.

"Maybe you should just ask her. She might answer, you know…"

Han didn't find it amusing.

"Oh, I see," he said angrily, "it's something between brother and sister again, and me, her husband for your information, is kept in the dark. Well, I've had it! I love her, damn it, and I have a right to know."

Luke, who was familiar with his friends temper, had expected such an outburst and calmly  placed a hand on his Hans shoulder. 

"Han, I only said I had a suspicion. I can tell you what **I** think that's bothering her, but you'll never know for certain until you ask her. Talk to her. She's the only one who can tell you what's going on. And she will tell you, when she's ready. You know that."

Han nodded. Luke radiated such tranquillity that it calmed him down.

"You're right. I'm sorry."

But suddenly his eyes twinkled.

"This doesn't mean you can't tell me what you THINK is bothering her …"

Luke sighed and shook his head smiling. "You are right. But promise me you will go talk to her. There's a chance I might be mistaken." Han gave a short nod an Luke continued, "Well, think logically.  If you were her, what would occupy you so much that you would forget everything else?"

Han shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, there are so many things …"

"I'll express myself more clearly. If you were in OUR position, what's the one thing you really would want to know ?"

"In your and Leia's position?" Han thought for a moment. "Maybe how come Vader never knew anything about your existence, or maybe … what woman could love this monster so much to bare him two children … Oh sorry, I didn't want to …"

Luke brushed the apology aside. "Exactly. I would phrase it a little differently … But  I saw him, Han, Vader, mine and Leia's father, just before he died. For a second, I saw Anakin Skywalker, the **real **Anakin Skywalker, who could love an was loved by a woman, my mother.  And you have now idea how much I would loved to get to know that man …" 

His voice died away. He cleared his throat.

"I constantly try to imagine his life before Darth Vader. How he met my mother, what gave him such a strong hate to choose the Dark Side. He has made mistakes, with terrible consequences, but something drove him to them … Was it my mother. I don't know anything about her. There are so many questions …."

The men didn't see how they were being watched by two figures, surrounded with a soft, unnatural glow. The first, a tall, bearded man, looked up at the second, even taller person, and said softly:

"Anakin, it is time …"

**Roeltje**: dank je wel dat je het gelezen hebt, en een review geplaatst hebt, das altijd tof !

**Cinnamon: **hey, I'm sorry for the delay … damn writers block. But your review helped to get rid of it, so thank you. I passed my exams without much difficulties and now I still have to do one year … finally !

**Sue:** thank you for your kind review, I hope you liked this chapter too !

**Albus:** thank you for your kind words, I promise I'll post the next chapter faster than this one !

**KiTsTer-and-Annie**: Thank you !!!

**Kitster **: Thanks !

****

**Leeuwke**: merci, hopelijk vind je dit hoofdstuk ook wat deftig, het heft echt bloed, zweet en tranen gekost …

**JarJar:**  thank you! I promise I'll post the next chapter sooner than this one ;-), I just need to translate it and it's finished …

**Harlequin:** thank you, I hope you liked this chapter also … it was a difficult part for me to write…

**Sheree:** thank you for your kind review, I'll do my best to post the next chapter sooner.

**Amidala: **I hope everything is all right there in far-away China … Thank you for your reviews, they mean a lot to me !! Hope hearing from you soon ! 

**Princess-Kinky:** thank you for your kind review !! I must confess I'm not that familiar with the book-series … It just my vision on how things should evolve after the events in ROTJ. Glad you like it !

**Elda Aranel:**  thank you ! I also adore the Arthurian Legends and here is a writer you might like : Jack Whyte, he creates a very realistic base for the myths !! It's one of my favourite "Arthurian" writers … (and you're name sounds a bit Elvish … influence of LOTR ?)

**Ann: **merci, ge weet dat uw reviews veel voor mij betekenen hé. Ik ben eens benieuwd wat je van dees hoofdstuk vindt….

**Spike_Sgal: **Thank you for your very interesting review. Perhaps you know now, from this chapter, that Leia isn't about to tell anything to Luke (yet) – I have made the situation a little more complicated (I like complicated stuff ;-) ) by introducing Darth Vader himself … but I can't tell anything more or I will spoil everything….

**HermOIne Granger:**  thank you !!! I hope the force stays with me just a little longer ;-) !


	5. chapter 5

Disclaimer : see chapter 1

A/N: Guess who's back ??

Sorry, sorry, sorry, Sorry, sorry, sorry, Sorry, sorry, sorry, Sorry, sorry, sorry, Sorry, sorry, sorry, Sorry, sorry, sorry, Sorry, sorry, sorry, Sorry, sorry, sorry, Sorry, sorry, sorry, Sorry, sorry, sorry …. (kneels down, begs forgiveness)

I know, I promised to post sooner but … it took even longer !! 

But … the good news is the story isn't dead, far from it actually ! I have found a whole new source of inspiration … and for those who think the updates take too long, there's my other story "Steps of Doom" (Lord of the Rings-fanfic). It would be great to know your thoughts about that one … 

As always, thanks to Badia and Sofie …

And now, let's go on with the story …

Chapter 5

9 ABY

"And thus, my fellow-senators, I'm convinced this is the best solution."

Slowly, Mon Mothma regarded all those who were present.

Leia watched with fascination. Every time Leia was impressed at how this seemingly  fragile woman was capable of captivating the senators. 

"Of course, my will isn't law," Mon Mothma continued, "There will be a vote for this amendment. But allow me to stress the importance of your choice. It is you who decide here and now about the further development of this Republic. It could fail, but it could also be a success and in my opinion two head chancellors are a step closer to that success. We have all experienced what the madness of one head chancellor can do …"

**

32 BBY

(diary of  Padmé)

_The unimaginable has happened. Nute Gunray, Viceroy of the Trade Federation, has made our small planet the target of a blockade. He wants to force me to surrender but I will not submit. _

_But how can I prevent my people suffering ?_

_*_

Queen Amidala stood solemnly before one of the many windows. The pale light of the morning sun shone softly on her silhouette veiled in black. She gazed at the early bustle in Theed: children walking to schools in small groups, people heading towards work. It was just an ordinary, everyday day, or so it would seem.

With stinging eyes, Amidala looked away. The faith of all these people was in her hands. The coming days would be crucial. Whatever she decided, her people would be to fall victim. For the first (but certainly not the last)  time, she felt the harsh reality of her responsibility press heavily on her shoulders.

When she accepted the position as Queen a few months ago, she had never expected this. The situation in which they found themselves now, would have been unthinkable. The Naboo were a serene and peaceful people and hadn't been in a state of war for centuries. As a result, their army was rather insignificant. It would never be able to withstand a real invasion …

"Your majesty?"

Quickly, Amidala swallowed her gathering tears. For a moment, she clenched her fists and then she turned. Her face showed no single emotion and with a steady voice, she spoke:

"Yes, Sio Bibble?"

"Senator Palpatine wishes to speak to you, my Lady."

"Good."

Stately, she walked to her working table. She clapped her hands, and immediately, four servant girls entered from the neighboring room. 

"Sabé, could you send for Captain Panaka? I think he will like to hear this too…"

 "Yes, your Highness."

The girl had barely left the room or the familiar figure of senator Palpatine appeared in the communication device.

"Queen Amidala, I'm so happy to see you."

"Senator Palpatine," she acknowledged. "Have you yet informed the Senate about our current state of affairs?

"Of course, your highness. I have spoken to Chancellor Valorum personally and he has assured me he will undertake the necessary actions, although he did not specify. I also have presented our situation in the senate and very soon, a vote will determine whether or not this barricade is legal."

"You have my full confidence, Senator. I hope you will persuade the senators that this siege can't be justified in any way."

Senator Palpatine smiled sadly.

"I will try, your Highness, I will do my very best …" And with these words, he disappeared. 

Silence fell and after a moment Captain Panaka, who had entered the room during the conversation, asked:

"What if the senate legalises this blockade? We do not have the strength to defend ourselves …"

"Let us trust in democracy," Amidala interrupted sharply. "The senate WILL NOT justify it because it simply CAN'T be justified. And I have faith in senator Palpatine. He has always defended are interests in the best way possible and I know he always will."

"But what if…"

"This will take us nowhere," the Queen spoke. "I am aware of our limited forces. That's why a war has to be prevented in any case. Let us rely on the power of dialogue. Only in this way, our people can be spared."

Suddenly, the communication device lit op as a sign of an incoming call. A few seconds later, the vague image of the Head Chancellor himself appeared.

"Your Highness," the grand, stern looking man nodded gently.

"Chancellor."

"Senator Palpatine has informed in full length on the urgent situation of your planet. There is however insufficient evidence to proceed to action. Therefore, I have, after a short council with some close staff members, come to the decision to sent two independent envoys to your planet." He paused a moment and continued: "They are Jedi."

His last words didn't miss their impact. Both Sio Bibble and Captain Panaka, jumped up startled. Amidala remained inexpressive as usual.

"You understand, your highness, that is advised that the Trade Federation does not know the identity of these envoys in advance. Present them in the most neutral way, for your safety, as well as theirs."

Amidala nodded.

"Of course, chancellor." She smiled briefly. "I thank you."

"Let us hope this conflict will find a quick and peaceful solution. I will sent the Jedi immediately."

And the communication was ended. 

Everybody let the words sink in. Then Sio Bibble said:

"Two Jedi Knights … The Trade Federation will have to heed them."

"But will they …?" Captain Panaka added doubtfully.

Queen Amidala was in deep thought. After some pondering, she spoke with a determined voice: "I will contact Nute Gunray."

**

9 ABY

Relentlessly, the lightsabers clashed. Blue and green sparks flew around. 

The young Padawan felt he was cornered. He tried to change his ordeal by picking up the pace. The flashes succeeded each other even faster. For a moment he seemed to win but suddenly, he felt how his lightsaber slipped from his grasp and it fell with a thud on the floor. A split second later, two razor-sharp blades were pointed to his throat. 

"Enough, Ashkon-ti."

Luke turned the two swords off and threw one back to the young Padawan.

"Do you know how I've defeated you?"

The boy, barely 15, nodded shyly.

"Yes, Master," and he went on, as Luke kept silent. "I lost my focus."

"Yes, you have. To often, it is forgotten that fighting with a lightsaber is more than mere hitting. It is not you who handles the weapon, it is the Force that lets you. It will give the necessary guidelines."

He stopped and then added with a smile: "You have made good progress. Keep practicing and you will become a great Jedi Knight. Now go to sleep. This lesson has go on for far too long and tomorrow is an early start. We will see each other here the day after tomorrow at the same hour."

Ashkon-ti nodded, bowed respectfully and left.

Smiling, Luke watched him leave. He was satisfied with the progress the many Padawans made. In a few years time, the Order would again be what she once was … . 

He closed his eyes and enjoyed the overwhelming sensation of the Force searing through and all around him. He surrendered to the waves of calmness and tranquillity which seemed to sway him gently. 

But unexpectedly he froze. He felt something changing. The Force became restless, almost as if …

He opened his eyes and before he could express his amazement, a soft voice spoke:

"I met your mother for the first time when I was only nine years old. I knew from that moment on that I would marry her …"

Luke gasped. "Father …?"

--

cliffhanger … :-) I'm wicked, I know … but …I'll try to post the next chapter in the near future ! ;) ;)  

Please, let me know what you think so far !

**Marajsky:** As you see, the story isn't dead ! And I'll try to update sooner …

**Linda & Tina's Friend (Cathy): **Thank you, and I'll try to post sooner !

**Tina's friend (Linda): **Thank you ! 

**K00lgirl1808**: Thanks (for your two posts), I'll try !

**Tina: **hello, I hope you like this chapter too ! Thank you for sharing this link with your friends ! It's always great to get reviews ! It's the reviews that keep me writing …

**DownDownDown: **Yeah, I know, it really has been too long, but I'll really try to post sooner … I'm already working on the next chapter …

**ChoChang: **yep, de volgende is in de maak !

**Spike_S Gal**: hello, I hope you're still there ! Thank you for your very kind review, as always. It means a lot. I'll really try to post the next chapter sooner, I'm already working on it … and there still is my other story (if you happen to be a LOTR-fan …), if the wait becomes to long ;-) … 

**Ditto2001**: Thanks ! I hope you liked this chapter too 

**Achterdemuur**: hopelijk was je niet ontgoocheld, mercikes hé !

**Beterlaatdannooit**: mmmmmmm

**TriGemini: **Thanks ! I hope you liked this chapter too !

**Dragonsdaughter1** : Yeah, it gets a little complicated that way, but I like it too :-) 

**Disney freak: **hello ! ik hoop dat je er nog steeds bent. Nu dacht je zeker dat ik het had opgegeven, en ik moet toegeven dat ik er zelf ook even voor vreesde, maar gelukkig heeft mijn muze me niet helemaal verlaten … en voilà ! Ik hoop dat je dit hoofdstuk wat goed vond … en moest je tijd of zin hebben, ik ben eens benieuwd wat je vindt van mijn LOTR-verhaal … groetjes, en merci hé !

**someoneusedmynickalready** : thanks, hope you liked this chapter too 

**CocaCola**: thanks ! I hope you liked this chapter !

**Cinnamon: **Thank you, as always ! I hope you didn't give up on me. I know, I promised to post sooner, but I seemed to have forgotten that promise. Anyway, I'm already working on the next one, so it shouldn't take 5 months this time ;-) ! I've found my muse again (and let's hope she stays :-)). There's also my LOTR-story, so if your interested, I'm very curious about your opinion about that one !

**HermOIne Granger: **hello ! thanks !! I hope you likes this chappie (isn't that dogfood??) too !

**Ann: **en weer eens een SW stukske (ja moest ook eens hé). Ik hoop dat je het wat goed vond !! Groetjes !!


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer**: See Chapter 1.

**Author's Note** :

Thanks to B for the help with the translation. We had a wonderful time, as always …

I started a Hidden Memories MSN group (for more information about updates and the progress of the story). Just click on _homepage_ in my profile … ;-)

Now I humbly kneel before you and beg for forgiveness … I SHALL NEVER ABANDON YOU FOR A WHOLE YEAR EVER AGAIN … (well, maybe just six months grin)

No seriously, the story just won't leave me alone – I suffered a (serious) writers block and was about to give up, but I just couldn't… The story begs to be written…

So the good news … Next update won't take this long ;-) (I hope)

In the meantime, enjoy this chapter. And as always, reviews are GREATLY appreciated! They really make my day…

A special thank you to **Stacey** and **Shea** for beta-ing this story ….

**CHAPTER 6 **

It was late. The day was coming to a close and soon a new dawn would rise. And yet there were still lights shining in many of the buildings, and this was no different in the rebuild Jedi-temple.

Entranced, Luke was staring at the figure before him. The shimmering silhouette looked nothing like the man whose mask he had removed 5 years ago. Anakin Skywalker was looking at his son with a calm, almost serene expression. Every trace of the anger and hate he had carried for most of his life seemed to have left his body. He was one with the Force again.

Yet his eyes… they radiated a deep sadness, thus betraying he hadn't completely dealt with his past. It's always easy to blame others for your mistakes, but Anakin realized he could not do this. He and only he was responsible for the many horrible dark deeds he had committed. He was more powerful than Palptine, he always had been. He could have put and end to it all. From the moment he learned that he was responsible for Padmé's... that he was responsible for the one thing that had driven him to the Dark Side… it was then that he should have realized he would never have everything under control, no matter how powerful he became…

But he choose a different path, one he now despised with all his heart to the very core of his soul, and for which he wanted forgiveness…

During his reminiscence, silence had fallen, not an uncomfortable, but a contemplative one. Luke felt the importance of the conversation and Anakin waited patiently for his son to ask him the one question he dreaded the most, but knew had to be asked… Luke _had _to understand…

"Why?"

The question was spoken softly, but it echoed through the large room as if a thousand victims pressed to know the answer too.

Anakin closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. He answered softly: "For her. I did it all for her … your mother…"

_32 BBY_

The small workplace was stuffed to the brim with all kinds of junk and spare parts, always came in handy for fixing droids or other mechanics.

Diligently Anakin Skywalker was rummaging through the large garbage bin. To an outsider, it might seem the small boy was focused on his task, separating parts that still could have some use from those that were so worthless even Watto, despite all his selling skills, would not be able to "aan de straatstenen kwijtraken".

In reality, his mind was far, far away, thousands of light-years away from this musty dump and this restrictive planet. He was a Jedi and with his light saber he slashed his way through evil and injustice. He demanded the Hutts to release all the slaves. And his mother was so proud of him…

Anakin sighed and, with his dirty sleeve, rubbed the sweat of his brow. The harsh reality was very different; he shivered with disgust when he contemplated he might have to spend the rest of his life trapped on this remote and desolate planet, as Watto's slave. He knew there must be a different life, a better life, one where he didn't have to work because he was someone else's property but where he could work to achieve something; a life where his mother didn't have to run around in rags and where he would be able to offer her more… However, it seemed that that life was not for him. He was a slave, and always would be.

"Peedenkel! Naba dee unko!" (Boy, get in here! Now!)

Watto's hoarse voice startled his train of thought and he looked up. Quickly he wiped his hands on a cloth and hurried into the shop. It was only then that he heard other voices, and realized there were potential customers, ready to be conned by Watto.

Anakin noticed that the customer, a tall man with long hair tied in a ponytail and a neatly trimmed beard, would not be easily fooled. His light grey eyes were watching Watto appraisingly, as if they were trying to make out what was going on in the merchant's head.

The customer was accompanied by a creature Anakin had never seen before (and he had seen quite a few – since Watto was the only merchant in Mos Espa with that large a collection of spare parts, many stranded travelers from across the galaxy had to stop by). This particular creature was tall with a pinkish orange skin. His large, gangly ears gave him a somewhat clumsy, dim-witted expression and Anakin suspected his appearance wasn't misleading.

Then he saw her. She stood a bit hidden behind that strange creature, her face turned away from him. He had never seen someone that beautiful before. Despite her simple blue peasant clothes, she radiated something incredibly strong and almost regal. Her long dark hair was pinned up and her soft brown eyes were looking around the shop curiously.

Then her gaze fell upon him. In that instant, he knew he would marry her. He gave her a tentative smile, which she returned gay fully, unaware of the sudden surge of emotions this caused inside of him.

"Coona tee-tocky malia?" (What took you so long?)

Watto's voice jerked him rudely out of his daydreams.

"Mel tassa cho-passa…" (I was cleaning the bin like you…)

"Chut-chut," Watto interupted him. "Ganda doe wallya. Me dwana no bata." (Never mind, watch the store. I've got some selling to do," and he turned to the tall man. "So, let me take-a thee out back. You'll find what you need…"

The man and a small droid Anakin hadn't noticed before followed the shopkeeper and Anakin, the peculiar creature and the girl stayed behind in the shop.

He just couldn't help himself staring at her. She seemed to notice and gave a soft smile.

"Are you an angel?" Anakin finally got the courage to ask.

She looked surprised. "What?"

"An angel," he repeated. "I've heard the deep space pirates talk about them. The live on the Moons of Iego, I think." He bravely went on. "They are the most beautiful creatures in the universe. They are good and kind and so pretty they make even the most hardened space pirate cry…"

The girl looked at him in amused wonderment. "I've never heard of angels."

"You must be one … Maybe you just don't know it."

Now he she was thoroughly amused. "You're a funny little boy. How do you know so much?"

Anakin shrugged. "Since I was very little, three, I think. My mom and I were sold to Gardulla the Hutt, but he lost us betting on the Pod races to Watto, who's a lot better master then Gardulla, I think."

She looked at him incredulously. "You are a slave?"

Anakin glared at her and defiantly said: "I'm a person, and my name is Anakin."

She was taken aback by his sudden outburst and smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry," she gazed around, "This is a strange world to me."

He watched her intently and softly spoke to himself. "You are a strange girl to me."

The clumsy creature, who had stayed out of trouble far too long, chose that moment to touch a tiny droid, which began to cause havoc. When Anakin told him how to switch it off ("Hit the nose!"), Watto, the customer and the droid returned.

"We're leaving," the man said to the girl and the creature. They followed quickly, but just before leaving the shop, she gave him a final smile. "I'm glad I've met you …"

"Anakin."

"Anakin," she repeated a little embarrassed.

"Anakin Skywalker," he clarified.

"Padmé Naberrie."

And she was gone. But now he knew her name, and he had never heard anything so enchanting.

_9 ABY_

Leia looked up. There, in black and white in the fine, now so familiar handwriting, she saw the name written clearly. She felt a shiver pass through her. Slowly her fingers traced the two words she dreaded so much and yet was so curious about: Anakin Skywalker. She had just read how her parents first met.

Intrigued, Leia read the passage again…

_The contrast between the social structure of Tatooine and that of Naboo is like day and night. The planet is governed through fear and repression, personified by the Hutts. The whole society lives of the back of something or someone and most of all of the slaves. _

_It's unbelievable that even now, in a time where the democracy of the Republic is so wide spread, a whole planet can thrive on slavery. It's very hard to accept this. Machines are valued more than the slaves. Everything here revolves around money and gambling; even human beings are used as collateral._

_However, what worries me deeply is that the Jedi don't seem bothered by this. Master Qui-Gon Jinn even agreed to let a small slaveboy named Anakin Skywalker participate in one of those life threatening Podraces that are so popular around here. The stakes are the necessary parts for our ship._

_Not only is it irresponsible that Master Qui-Gon puts our faith in the hands of that boy (there has to be an other way to get those parts!), he doesn't seem to mind that the boy's life is on the line. _

_For the time being I have to put my trust in the Jedi's insight, but I hope with all my heart he hasn't miscalculated the situation, for that would mean an irreparable blemish on their irrefutable reputation…_

Leia reread the entry over and over again, soaking up every tiny bit of information.

She had a hard time believing the almighty Darth Vader was born as a slave – the irony didn't escape her.

Or maybe not. Maybe his overpowering tyranny had been some sort of revenge on all the years of repression he suffered in his childhood. You reap what you sow.

But when she reread where young Anakin Skywalker was mentioned, she came to the unexpected conclusion that he had been anything but a selfish or vengeful child.

On the contrary. It seemed he even had been willing to risk his life for stranded strangers to win the necessary parts for their spaceship.

Leia smiled. It felt good to know her father hadn't always been a monster. He had been willing to help people. Where did it all go wrong?

The princess looked at the name her mother had written down casually, probably with a great deal of gratitude for his help, but also with indifference; it was just a name of someone who had helped.

When would she realize or feel this name was going to mean more? Or that this name would be her downfall?

Eternal gratitude to all reviewers…

**anneman** : zoals altijd, echt dank u wel om het als niet-Star Wars liefhebber te willen lezen … Het was te denken dat ik nu natuurlijk weer aan het verhaal zou verder schrijven (ik ben zooooo voorspelbaar ;-)) Tot straks in Sin City ;-) grote van op afstand knuffel

**KiTsTer-and-Annie: (**wow, difficult nick ;-)), thanx!

**K00lgirl1808**: glad you like it …

**TriGemini**: In ROTJ, he already seems to sense Vader's presence… I guess Jedi just feel each other's presence, if they are open to it… Like Vader does with Obi-Wan in ANH … I hope you liked this chapter :-)

**grace**: thx, I hope you likes this chapter too

**Jakia**: I hope you liked this chapter too

**Cinnamon**: I'm so, so sorry, I really hope you're still out there, somewhere … and that you liked this chapter! Hugs!

**ditto2001**: oops, you are psychic ! "update soon as in next weekend, not next year …" I'm really ashamed… but I promise next update will be sooner :-)

**HermOIne Granger** : loooooool hugs

**arthus**: thank you, I hope you liked this chapter

**Namonaki Pharaoh**: thank you :-), hopefully, you likes this chapter too

**Lochar**: Hello there ! (to say it in Obi-Wan's words) – yeah, an evil cliffie, I LOOOOVE evil cliffies (except when I read them myself)… I hope everything is allright ? big hug - Oh and who says it was Leia's mother ? And thank you about the Author's Note : I didn't know that wasn't permitted anymore ….

**Keirin-Sama**: yep, it begins to unravel … hope you liked this chapter!

**MaxCale**: I hope you liked this chappie

**Yasuko Stari**: thank you :-)

**Casperlily**: thanks, and I'll keep writing ;-)

**Michelleskywalker**: and so I did …. I hope you likes this chapter too

**Anarra**: Thank you! Getting all the characters correct is really difficult (you always tend to play a little with them), so I'm really glad you think they all stay in character …

**XxDarkGoddessxX**: thank you so much, you make me blush. I hope you liked this chapter too :-)

**Redemno**: thanks ;-) , good to see I'm not the only lazy person in the universe ;-)

**Minjonet**: woow thank you for your nice review. I'm glad you find it believable … It's always difficult to stay with the characters (I always have to remind myself they aren't MINE characters, but this of the Bearded One, so I have to describe them the way he sees them)…

**apple sauce the brave** : (and the Award for most original nick goes to … : well, did he do some yapping ;-)?

**Liam O'Mallon**: thank you! I hope you likes this chapter too …

**Slayer rock chick**: yep Padmé's gonna come back ;-)

**Kal's gal**: I hope you liked this chapter :-)

**Laura-chan**: ooh from Italy … One of the most beautful countries in the world (as George also discovered ;)) … I've been to Venice one, and I certainly would like to return there. Since I've studied Latin for 7 years, I would certainly like to visit Rome or Pompei once … when I'll have enough money ;-) I hope you liked this chapter :-)


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer **: see chapter 1

**AN** : now aren't you guys proud of me? I actually managed to update in a month's time even though it took me the better part of the month to convince L to help me with the translation… (doesn't that merit a review … ? ;))

Again, if you want to be notified about the story's progress, or even read other A/P FF, see my homepage in my profile ;)

I'm not totally satisfied about this chapter, perhaps because I still have to follow the script rather closely at some point. But I really tried to give the characters some introspection… Let me know if you think I succeeded or totally failed ;)

**CHAPTER 7**

32 BBY

_There's something peculiar about this boy, something I can't put my finger on and it keeps me intrigued. Maybe it's that rare combination of melancholy, of not wanting to let go, and his hopeful perspective of the future – he wants to change things and make them better, but on the other hand he doesn't, for change seems to frighten him at the same time._

Padmé looked thoughtfully at what she had written and shook her head. This wasn't the purpose of this diary. She had to describe the facts as they were, and above all, objectively; ruminations about a small boy didn't fit in here…

And yet…

She sighed.

Everything was quiet on the space ship. Sabé and the other servant girls said with Captain Panaka in the improvised throne room, Master Qui-Gon had returned to Mos Espa for some "unfinished business" and the other Jedi was preparing the ship for departure.

Everyone was busy and she had taken the opportunity to slip away inconspicuously to update her journal on recent events.

She couldn't suppress a smile when she thought back on the thrilling finish of the Podrace. Reluctantly she had to admit she quite enjoyed the excitement of the race, but this was only because their departure for Coruscant depended on the outcome (at least, that was what she convinced herself with).

--

9 ABY

"The feeling was so overwhelming! Finally I understood what I was capable of, what I could achieve… My mother was so proud… And Padmé…" Anakin sat himself next to his son and smiled sorrowfully. "I would do it all over again, just for her smile. She made me feel like I could move mountains…" He took a deep breath and continued: "They could proceed their journey and ongoing mission. But apparently, Qui-Gon had made a deal with Watto. Qui-Gon was Obi-Wan's mentor," he clarified when he saw Luke's questioning look. "He was great Jedi Knight. He was surrounded with this aura of power and charisma. And he believed in me, in times when nobody else did, not even Obi-Wan…"

Luke heard the vague bitterness in his father's voice and was relieved when he suddenly added ironically: "And he was blinded by it. But I'm getting ahead of myself. It's not easy, placing and feeling all these emotions. I've lived in the darkness for so long, with hate and anger and self-loathing as my only allies. It's strange and uneasy to not be dominated by them anymore and to feel friendship and sorrow and so much love again…"

Luke smiled sympathetically and patiently gave his father the time to compose himself. After a while, Anakin went on: "Nevertheless, Qui-Gon had achieved in liberating me from Watto. He felt I had the talent to become a great Jedi and he wanted to give me this opportunity. My mother however…"

Anakin gulped, rose and went to one of the many windows. For a long time, he gazed out at never sleeping city. He let out a harsh laugh and turned to his son.

"Even now, more than four decades later, I still wonder if I did the right thing by leaving her. Maybe I should have remained on Tatooine and tried to buy her freedom. Who knows, I might have succeeded through Podracing. But it's useless to ponder the "what if"'s. What's done is done, even though you'll always keep wondering if it couldn't have turned out differently. Would I have fulfilled my Destiny, the Destiny both Qui-Gon and Palpatine believed so strongly in ? Or would I have been Anakin Skywalker, a famous Podracer?"

Silence fell and both men were lost in memories bringing them back to a past full of hurt and betrayal.

"Maybe Qui-Gon was right. Maybe everything happens for a reason. Maybe it wasn't a coincidence I met him, Padmé and Obi-Wan. Maybe everything turned out the way it was destined be, and is this," and he gestured to Luke and himself, "my Fate. But…"

"… you keep asking yourself how far your own decisions had an effect on the outcome of things," Luke finished.

Anakin nodded.

"You know… In the beginning, the Jedi Council didn't want me to be trained… They sensed it; Obi-Wan sensed it. But Qui-Con was utterly convinced I was the Chosen One, that I would bring balance to the Force… And I wanted to become a Jedi so badly and make my mother proud and free all the slaves …"

His voice faded…

--

32 BBY

Ten pairs of eyes watched his every move. Anakin tried to hide his awkwardness and stared bravely back. Luckily, he felt Qui-Gon's hands press in his shoulders, like a beacon of calmness in the ocean of stressed emotions he seemed to be drowning in.

"… Correct you were, Qui-Gon," the little green Jedi Master known as Master Yoda spoke.

"His cells contain a high concentration of midi-chlorians," an other Jedi named Mace Windu added.

"The Force is strong with him," a third concurred.

"He is to be trained, then," Qui-Gon said, relieved. Anakin felt his heartbeat quicken.

Master Windu gave Qui-Gon a fixed stare and shook his head solemnly. "No, he will not be trained."

Anakin panicked. He would not be trained? He felt how tears of bitter disillusionment sting in his eyes. No, no, no … this could not be true… this can not be true… He had to become a Jedi! He had to free his mother! He had to…

Qui-Gon's hands grasped his shoulders more tightly. Apparently, he hadn't expected this decision of the council either. "No?" he asked in utter disbelief.

Again, Mace Windu shook his head. "He is too old. There is already too much anger in him."

"He is the Chosen One… You must see it!" Qui-Gon didn't even bother to keep the incomprehension out of his voice.

"Clouded, this boy's future is," Master Yoda spoke. "Masked by his youth."

"I will train him, then. I take Anakin as my Padawan learner."

Anakin didn't miss the surprised reaction of the Council, and even Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon's present Padawan, looked at his Master in amazement.

"An apprentice, you have Qui-Gon. Impossible, to take a second," Master Yoda said.

"We forbid it…" Master Windu spoke curtly to bring an end to the discussion.

"Obi-Wan is ready …" Qui-Gon began.

"I am ready to face the trials," Obi-Wan interrupted.

"Ready so early, are you? What know you of ready?" Yoda answered sternly.

Anakin saw Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan exchange angry looks.

Qui-Gon tried to smooth over the sudden outburt of his Padawan. "Headstrong… and he has much to learn about the living Force, but he is capable. There is little more he will learn from me."

"Our own Council we will keep on who is ready. More to learn, he has…"

"Now is not the time," Mace Windu interjected. "Go with the Queen to Naboo and discover the identity of the dark warrior. That is the clue we need to unravel this mystery of the Sith."

"Young Skywalker's fate will be decided later," Yoda said.

"I brought Anakin here; he must stay in my charge. He has nowhere else to go." Qui-Gon looked at the Council.

Mace Windu nodded. "He is your ward, Qui-Gon… we will not dispute that."

Anakin watchted as Master Yoda sadly shook his head and almost pleadingly asked: "Train him not. Take him with you, but train him not!"

"Protect the Queen, but do not intercede if it comes to war until we have the Senate's approval," Mace Windu repeated the mission.

"May the Force be with you," Yoda ended the conversation.

Dazed, Anakin followed the two Jedi to the landing platform. He didn't quite comprehend what had happened. But he did understand the Council did not wish to grant his training, and then Qui-Gon… He glanced furtively at the Jedi Master who was in deep discussion with his Padawan. Obi-Wan was obviously worried about something. Even though he didn't want to eavesdrop, he could clearly hear parts of the conversation.

"It is not disrespect, Master. It is the truth."

"From your point of view…"

"The boy is dangerous… they all sense it. What can't you?", Obi-Wan spoke urgently.

Anakin started shaking. He was dangerous? But he was just Anakin? Why was Obi-Wan trying to turn his Master against him? Was he jealous? Was Obi-Wan afraid he would be a better Padawan than he himself had been? After all Qui-Gon believed he was the Chosen One…

Qui-Con looked severely at his apprentice. "His fate is uncertain, not dangerous. The Council will decide Anakin's future… that should be enough for you. Now get on board!"

Anakin cringed when Obi-Wan threw him a pitying look, before entering the Nubian Cruiser.

"Master Qui-Gon, sit, I do not wish to be a problem," he uttered softly.

The Jedi smiled. "You won't be, Ani… I'm not allowed to train you, so I want you to watch me and be mindful… always remember, your focus determines your reality. Stay close to me and you will be safe."

--

9 ABY

Anakin looked at his son.

"You see, maybe things could have been quite different. The Jedi Council distrusted me. And they were right, they were right, …"

Reviews are very highly appreciated… ;-)

Thanks to…

**Mrs. Hayden Christensen**: (damn, I have competition…), this chapter is a tiny bit longer ;), I hope you liked it!

**Lilac Moon**: Thanks! Was the update soon enough ;-)?

**Usakitten**: woow thank you blushes; I hope you liked this chapter too

**Caralynne** : ducks away for lightsaber thx! I hope you liked this chapter!

**Namonaki Pharaoh**: Yep, it is indeed quite ironic: Anakin trying to escape his fate as a slaveboy and just ending up to be a like puppet on string for the most evil man in the galaxy… Oh, and with "her downfall", I meant actually "Padmé's downfall" ;-) (it's quite confusing, sorry!) (I know that in this chapter, there is such a similar confusing part – with a lot of "he"'s ;), I hope it's still clear enough though ;) – thank you for reading, and looking forward to your comments on this chapter…

**Thefragile7393**: I hope you find this chapter "interesting" ;-), thanks for reading!

**Anneman**: Hii! Ik weet, nu zit je in het zonnige zuiden, lekker bruin te bakken, in hoeverre dat nog kan, want je bent al bijna ene koffieboon – ik vrees dat ik u niet meer ga herkennen als je terugkomt! Anyway, dank u natuurlijk voor het lezen. Je bent mijn rots ….

**Mr.Firenze**: thank you! I'm a bit worried that perhaps the story progresses to slowly, but I'd like to develop the characters, and that takes some time…

You're right about the updates… but do no despair! I'm really planning on updating on a more regular basis ;-)! I hope you liked this chapter, and I'm looking forward to hear from you!

**Meandmysharpie**: thank you ! I hope you liked this chapter too!

**Trina**: thanks! I hope you liked chapter 7!

**TriGemini**: Leia and Luke will definitely sharing their findings, but I'm not sure when. Don't expect it to happen that soon, though ;-). Yeah, Anakin is a good person. I'm not even sure if Darth Vader has always been that "evil", if you know what I mean. Palpatine, for example, is evil, no question about it. Anakin on the other hand, just wanted to do good, in his own twisted way. His intentions were good. But he fell in the trap that the goal justifies the means… A classic Greek Tragic Hero …

I hope you liked this chapter! And I'm curious at your comments ;-)

**Julie Horwitz**: thank you so much :). Luke and Leia will talk to each other, but it may take a while before that happens… I'm not sure if Leia will actually meet her father, nothing's fixed yet. It might happen… or not… ;-)

I hope you liked this chapter, and please, feel free to comment :)

**Maiken**: aha, nog een nederlandstalig iemand – jeeej! Mercikes! Hopelijk vond je het hoofdstuk wat goed … ;-)

**Forestrain**: o beautiful nick (I like the smell of a forest after it has rained!). Thank you! I hope you liked this chapter too!

**Kal's Gal**: thank you :-), and what about this chapter ;-)?

**Karaii-chan**: woow thank you! blushes scarlet I hope you liked this chapter too ;-)

**Daleia**: thank you, I hope you liked this chapter also!

**Laura-chan**: Oh yes, Italy… a great country with one heck of a history… ;-) The basis of our civilization… You could be a descendant of Marius, of Sulla or Caesar or Augustus or even Nero or Calligula for all I know … ;)

I hope you liked this chapter !

**Eridani**: thank you! Yes, I know the pacing. Actually, I don't think it's Padmé's diary that is slowing it down, but now, in this chapter it is for example the description of the Council … I know, I know, but I really wanted to include this part, because it's important for Anakin's character development (his jealousy of Obi-Wan or his distrust in the Council… It all starts here …)

Despite the rather slow pacing, I really hope you liked this chapter! Looking forward to here from you !


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